Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Goodbye to you...Music and Buffy

Buy The Spirit Room By Michelle Branch
So I am buying lunch in the Dominick's this morning and I spontaneously begin to get goosebumps then nearly break down in tears. And while it might be pms...I quickly realized that it was the Michelle Branch song, "Goodbye to You" playing over the speakers that caused the sudden emotional ridiculousness. That song is forever tied to one of the most memorable final scenes of Buffy in one of its best episodes ever, Tabula Rasa. Whenever I hear that song, I immediately see a broken, crying Willow curled up on the floor while Tara is moving out. I see Dawn's anger at what she sees as another grownup abandoning her and Tara's heartbreaking decision to walk away from someone she loves dearly but who has also betrayed and violated her in the worst way possible. And then we find Buffy at the Bronze. Willow's failed attempt to 'fix' Buffy's depression with magicks has only made things worse. The spell made her forget all of her pain temporarily only to have every hateful element of her life come crushing back: the death of Joyce, dying, and then being ripped from Heaven being the most painful. The Buffy we see in that moment is a shell of her former self. When Spike attempts to comfort her, she turns away in disgust. Then when we cut back to the Bronze we see Buffy and Spike locked in a kiss. But its hardly a kiss of passion...its more of emptiness. When everything hurts so bad that the only way to keep from screaming is to grab onto someone so tightly. Spike was Buffy's lifeline at that moment and their first kiss kept her from sinking into complete darkness. Its such a powerful montage of scenes and the beautiful lyrics singing were the final touch.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

New episode coming shortly kids...

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